Sunday, November 27, 2005

I Had A Dream

I had the strangest dream last night. I went to turn my computer on and nothing happened. Much to my chagrin, and the exuberance of those looking for some form of intelligence in the blogosphere, the darn thing wouldn't start. So I did what most people do: I called up the repair guy. The first company I tried was CSL ( Computer Specialist Limited ) and they sent over their top dog, some Mr. Martin guy. When he arrived, he took a quick look at it and then launched into a two hour serenade of how he was gonna fix this thing come hell or highwater. He musta been thirsty because he went through a whole pot of coffee while looking at it. He ended his visit by declaring that I should sue the computer maker for faulty equipment, the warranty company for not covering in-house repairs, the software vendor for making such an unstable operating system and then left after handing me a bill for $80 Million. Still with no computer, I called the next company on the list, NDP ( Network Design Protocals, or something like that ) They sent their top man over, a rather friendly chap who simply called himself Jack. He was a very nice fellow, but after looking at the computer for awhile, he started to quiz me as to why I really needed a computer. He said that not everyone could afford one, and didn't see why I would be wasting my money on a computer when there are homeless people living on the streets of Toronto. He left after a cup of tea, said this call was a freebie, and left me some information on where I could have my computer recycled. In desparation, I called the last company on the list, CPC ( Corruptfree Personal Computers ) The guy they sent over wasn't the warmest person in the world. When he came in, I offered him a cup of coffee and he simply replied: "Look, I didn't get into this line of work to make friends, I'm simply here to clean up computers and get rid of any registry corruption." Fair enough. I left the room and came back in when I heard what sounded like laughter and thought "who's here now?" Apparently, the darn computer wasn't plugged in. He left after installing an antivirus program and an anti-spyware program. He charged me $20.00 for the service call and left me a receipt. I should have called him first. The computer never worked better.